“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” – 1 Peter 5:8
Our enemy the devil surrounds us with many forms. A roaring lion, a slowly leaking faucet, a flash flood, or maybe a cunning sneaking fox. He can be identified as addiction, hate, lust, selfishness…he may even take on a human form. He knows what gets to us and how to hurt us in ways in which we won’t fully recognize that it is “him.” He truly is the jack(ass) of all trades…putting on the Halloween mask that scares us the most. For me, his name is Ed.
Throughout my dealings with my personal Ed, he has been fairly sneaky and conniving. He knows better than to roar in like a lion–I’m too aware of him now. So to me he is a sly little thief, the proverbial wolf in sheeps clothing. It does get tiring to be constantly on my toes, looking over my shoulder so to speak. But with the armor of my Savior, that is how this soldier lives right now.
I’m getting better and better at catching this thief! But he does get tricky. This week for example, he is finding me mentally stronger against him as I continue pushing forward with mind/body health developments. So in a panic, he finds another way to get to me. ..by getting someone I love. It is a pretty classic situation. We’ve all seen it in the movies. In a panic, the mugger grabs the small child in order to get the father to consent to his demands. Kidnapping, ransom notes, a mother screaming “Take me, God! Take me!”
Ed has taken hold of a friend, and I’m spitting mad at him. The anger is justified, but Ed loves it, because I’ve also found myself angry at God. This is a new feeling and it is scaring me. I know it is wrong, and I recognize, regret, and repent. But in my weakness, the feelings have come up several times as of late.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10
I also know that each time I recognize my feelings and hopefully release the mis-directed anger a little more, Jesus forgives and loves me every time. Even though I fail over and over, each time I am strengthened through prayer, forgiveness, and God’s grace.
I believe Ed hoped and hopes that I will become competitive with his hold on my friend. I will not, and I have declared it against him in prayer. So he’s thrown some physical stuff at me this weekend and today, hoping I’ll cave on my food intake. I will not. (I’ve been enduring nasty stomach aches and digestive ailments.) I know what may be coming next and I’m already praying on it and ready for it.
The point is, I’m seeing his new tricks, and he’s recycling a lot of old ones.
I sound strong, but I won’t lie…I’m not anywhere yet where I should be. But I’m stronger, only with Jesus standing with me. So come sneaking or roaring… the battlefield right now is wide open and I can see Ed from miles away, I’ve got a lot of armor on and weapons at the ready.
I like to pray in specifics against the devil, speaking the power of Jesus. Please pray this prayer for yourself, and pray for those you love, using names in place of “me.” He is a legalist, so say it strong and precise! If you have a moment after reading, please pray for me today and pray for my friend who is suffering.
I come to You Jesus, as my deliverer. You know all my needs _______________ (name them!), all things that bind, torment, that defile and harass me. I now loose myself from every dark spirit, from every evil influence, from every satanic bondage, from every spirit in me that is not the Spirit of God. I command all such spirits to leave me now in the name of the LORD Jesus Christ.
I now confess that my body is a temple for the Holy Spirit, redeemed, cleansed, sanctified by the blood of Jesus. Therefore, satan has no place, no power over me, through the blood of Jesus. AMEN! (source- Warfare Prayers)
Have you recognized the demon lately? What mask was he wearing, and how did you fight him?
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What really hurts me now……is knowing just how much I have lost because of my disease. The biggest lose is love. And I don’t know how to forgive myself…….I was so greatly loved……but I wanted to be hated…..because I hated myself…….and I lost my best friend, my husband, my soulmate. He didn’t leave easily….put up a hell of a fight……because he loved me…….I put the man through a living hell……because that is what I was in and couldn’t acknowledge it.
Still no tears of joy……yet.
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