…aka my article first posted here and here has now been paper-ized! I’m proud to share that I was published, in actual print, in the December 2011 edition of The Edge Magazine.

Click here to read it online, check out the digital copy, or pick up a copy of The Edge at a site near you.

We have a fear of facing ourselves. That is the obstacle. Experiencing the innermost core of our existence is very embarrassing to a lot of people. A lot of people turn to something that they hope will liberate them without their having to face themselves. That is impossible. We can’t do that. We have to be honest with ourselves. We have to see our gut, our excrement, our most undesirable parts. We have to see them. That is the foundation of warrior-ship, basically speaking. Whatever is there, we have to face it, we have to look at it, study it, work with it, and practice meditation with it.”

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, from Ocean of Dharma

Lonely lake in Minnesota
Dying tree in Ashtabula
Rains came in yesterday
Fleeting hearts are here to stay
Sometimes I change my mind
Sometimes I think its fine

Crying boy in Baton Rouge
Troubled men in this town too
Passing strangers touch my sleeve
All I do is think of me
Sometimes I change my mind
Sometimes I think its fine

Burning house in tupelo
Devil’s fire from down below
Politician sang to me
Someday girl we’ll all be free
Sometimes I change my mind
Sometimes I think its fine

Image by TarynMarie via Flickr

The Perfect Cup

it is time for me
to see the flaws of myself
and stop being alarmed.

it is time for me
to halt my drive for perfection
and to accept my blemishes.

it is time for me to receive
slowly evolving growth
the kind that comes
in God’s own good time
and pays no heed
to my panicky pushing.

it is time for me
to embrace my humanness
to love my incompleteness

it is time for me
to cherish the unwanted
to welcome the unknown
to treasure the unfulfilled

if I wait to be
perfect
before I love myself
I will always be
unsatisfied
and ungrateful.

if I wait until all the flaws, chips,
and cracks disappear
I will be the cup that stands on the shelf
and is never used.

–Joyce Rupp

Perfection as a “being” has no definition. It has no form, because it has nothing tangible to ultimately compare “perfection.” ”We strive for perfection in things we do, but we can never be it. Yet, when we do and “fail” at our doing we often become “imperfect,” labeling ourselves. The phrase, “The Perfect Cup” makes no sense. Does the cup have a crack? It might fail or be imperfect at holding water, but it is still just a cup, its own cup. Is there some ultimate example of what a cup should be? No.

What is a flaw? Who defines “blemish?” If I accept a “blemish,” does it cease to be a blemish? Is it time to accept my humanness and my divinity, as created in His image? Is it time to love my incompleteness, or to realize I am NOT incomplete, I am whole? What have I told myself I don’t want or don’t like or don’t cherish? Can I stop striving and be unfulfilled…and through that actually BE fulfilled?

Can I drink out of my own cup and be ok with that?

Crafts are a part of the mindfulness culture in the treatment facility I’m currently healing at, and these Knifty Knitters are a hot crafting commodity. I haven’t caught the knitting bug quiet yet, but I’m itching a little. In the meantime, a sweet friend I’ve made here has knitted me FOUR cozy winter hats! I’ll admit, I’m a total hat fiend, but I suppose I don’t need four of them…so a giveaway (with the blessing of my friend) is in order.

3 knifty knitted hats to 3 lucky readers!

THREE entries per reader, TONS of ways to enter: (one comment per entry, one entry per comment please)

• Subscribe to my blog (scroll to the bottom of the page)
• Subscribe to my Elephant Journal feed
• Comment on one of my Elephant Journal articles (link back)
• Tell me about a thing
• Write some wordage!
• Blog about the giveaway (link back)
• Facebook the giveaway (link back)
• Tell me something about trees
• Comment here or here with a favorite yoga song
• Share a favorite poem or poet here
• What do you love?
• STOP, notice your breath right NOW! Tell me about it here.

Giveaway ends Friday December 2, 2011 at midnight!

We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we can do anything of lasting value by ourselves. Our only power and success come from God. He is the one who has enabled us to represent his new covenant.”
–2 Corinthians 3:4-6

Sir, Sri, Swami…my head is swimming!

Image via Wikipedia

Since I started studying Yoga beyond asana, my head has been swimming with Swamis, Sadhus, Sris (Shrees, Shris…sigh), Sannyasis, Satgurus, and Shankaracharyas.

Spell check pretty much hates me.

It took me awhile to realize that the authors and masters I was studying weren’t all of some same surname, Swami. And with that recognition, I felt more aware of the fact that I was completely befuddled as to what is an actual name and what is a title in this culture.

My journey into moniker messiness began during my first yoga teacher training curriculum when I studied Sri Swami Satchidananda’s commentary on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Pronunciation issues aside, I wondered who this three-termed man was. Google found me his bio.

Oh boy. Looked like I had a lot more names to Google.

Satchidananada’s full name/title, via his website bio, is H.H. Sri Swami Satchidananda, the H.H. (I think) meaning “his holiness.” By his students he is also called Sri Gurudev. According to Swami Rama, gurudev is “an enlightened master or guru,” a spiritual guide. Confusingly, this guy is also formally called Gurudeva. Anyways, before he became HHSSS, Satch was simply named Ramaswamy. After meeting his own Gurudev, H.H. Sri Swami Sivanandaji (aka Swami Sivananda Saraswati!?) and becoming a sannyasin (monk), he was named Satchidananda with attached titles.

Get it? Me neither. But I’m getting there. As I continue my studies, I decided it was time to start sorting out these culture-based confusions with a quick reference guide to some of the Indian and Yoga names, labels, and titles that one might run across in Yoga study. The backslash denotes alternate spellings.

• Sri/Shri/Shree- honorific; Sanskrit; used as a polite term of address; somewhat equivalent to “sir” or “Mr.” but can also be attached to the name of a god to denote supremeness and divinity (Source, Source)
• Swami- Sanskrit; A monk from one of the ten orders of renunciates established by Shankaracharya. (Source)
• Swamiji- Sanskrit; A respectful form of address used in referring to a monk. (Source)
• guru- noun; Sanskrit; “teacher” or spiritual master (Source)
• Gurudeva/Gurudev- title, address; Sanskrit; “One who dispels the darkness of ignorance; a spiritual guide” (Source)
• Satguru/Sadguru- title; Sanskrit; “true guru”, denoting one who has been enlightened, liberated, and guides others on the path (Source)
• sadhu/shadhu- (Source)
• sadhaka- (Source)
• raja/rajah- noun; Indian, derived from Sanskrit; a prince or king; monarch (Source)
• rani- noun; Indian, derived from Sanskrit; queen (Source)
• Maharaga/Maharajah- title; Sanskrit; “great king” or “high king” (Source)

Add edits or additions in the comments below!

“The latest research indicates that trying to do two or more things at the same time may not be good for you. Multitasking has been shown to impair cognitive skills (attention, short/long-term memory, processing speed, visual and auditory processing, logic, and reasoning.) The long term effect is that we can wind up atrophying parts of our brain and impairing its optimal functioning.

Meditation does the opposite: it moves your brain in the direction of rest and focus…Meditation is an indispensible tool that improves memory, sharpens intellect, increases your ability to respond to stress, and even helps you process negative emotions such as grief, anger, and fear.”

Inpatient eating disorder treatment is a form of meditation for me. Being away from a multitasked life will allow more focus and rest on one vital goal: recovery. Everything encompassed within the treatment model is single-task oriented to this purpose. Allowing myself to focus on this ONE objective will promote a stronger case for achievement, cultivating sharper intellect, improved memory, ability to respond to stress, and emotion processing…all essential building blocks of learning and utilizing the tools to work toward recovery.

“For all that mediation provides, it merely asks of us that we take the time to do it.” –Rod Stryker

What ONE task or goal could you put ALL of your focus on, for a few moments if not as long as it takes to achieve?

cloudy Sunday morn

The Cross as a Tree

Some translations of the Bible have used the word tree to describe the cross that Jesus was crucified on.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to those sins and live righteously. By his wounds you have been healed. –1 Peter 2:24

The God of our ancestors raised Jesus to life after you killed him by hanging him on a tree. –Acts 5:30

We are this tree, this cross that Jesus was put to death on. His love for us is symbolized by the nails that held him to the tree, to us. He literally pinned himself to our sin, our confusion, our eating of the tree of knowledge. Jesus attached himself to every sorrow, every torment, every pain and affliction and grief that we have ever felt. Jesus knows first-hand our hurts and broken-ness. Because he hung on my tree, Jesus embodies the true meaning of compassion and empathy.

Two Trees…

The LORD God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground–trees that were beautiful and that produced delicious fruit. In the middle of the garden he placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. –Genesis 2:9

And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.” –Genesis 2:16-17

God intended for man to eat from the tree of life. Instead, man chose the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, bringing our ultimate demise—knowledge of “ego” and separation from God; confusion as to his true Nature, aka sin.

Jesus as the Tree of Life

This is what the Sovereign LORD says: “I myself will take a shoot from the very top of a cedar and plant it; I will break off a tender sprig from its topmost shoots and plant it on a high and lofty mountain. On the mountain heights of Israel I will plant it; it will produce branches and bear fruit and become a splendid cedar. Birds of every kind will nest in it; they will find shelter in the shade of its branches.” –Ezekiel 17:22-23

In His love, God propagated a branch from His tree, the lineage of David (cedar) and sent His son, Jesus, to grow among us. Jesus is the human expression of the tree of life.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. –Proverbs 13:12

Jesus Christ the Apple Tree

As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. –Song of Solomon 2:3

The tree of life my soul hath seen
Laden with fruit and always green
The tree of life my soul hath seen
Laden with fruit and always green
The trees of nature fruitless be
Compared with Christ the apple tree

His beauty doth all things excel
By faith I know but ne’er can tell
His beauty doth all things excel
By faith I know but ne’er can tell
The glory which I now can see
In Jesus Christ the apple tree.

For happiness I long have sought
And pleasure dearly I have bought
For happiness I long have sought
And pleasure dearly I have bought
I missed of all but now I see
‘Tis found in Christ the apple tree.

I’m weary with my former toil
Here I will sit and rest a while
I’m weary with my former toil
Here I will sit and rest a while
Under the shadow I will be
Of Jesus Christ the apple tree.

This fruit does make my soul to thrive
It keeps my dying faith alive
This fruit does make my soul to thrive
It keeps my dying faith alive
Which makes my soul in haste to be
With Jesus Christ the apple tree.

Where have you found spiritual images of trees?